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David Letterman's Top Ten List



Letterman's Guests on The Late Show
Week of June 29, 2009:


  • Monday – Jessica Biel, Zach Galifianakis & Steve Earle
  • Tuesday - Michael J. Fox & The Fray
  • Wednesday – Denzel Washington, The Jonas Brothers & Top Ten with Regis Philbin
  • Thursday – Sandra Bullock, Comedian Pete Correale & P.J. Harvey with John Parish
  • Friday – Kid Scientists, Teri Hatcher & Rick Ross with Magazeen

Top Ten Signs You're Too Fat:

    10. When people first meet you they say, "Lemme guess -- opera singer?"

    9. You live on 23rd, 24th, and 25th streets

    8. Barack Obama has requested $3 billion to bail you out of your bed

    7. When doctor says you're pregnant with octuplets, you have to remind him you're a man

    6. Often get free waffles at Denny's by claiming to be Rush Limbaugh

    5. When you get on a scale, it says, "One at a time!"

    4. On your visit to Russia, cholesterol checks you

    3. Since this list began, you've eaten a quart of tartar sauce

    2. You're too fat to read Artie Lange's "Too Fat to Fish"

    1. Get in bed at 11pm, but your ass doesn't get there 'til midnight

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